A couple weeks ago, my girlfriends and I went to our adult trick-or-treat wine tasting.
We go every year. This was year six. And every year, I drink a little less wine.
This year? I probably could’ve bought the non-alcoholic ticket. Literally, they would pour the wine, I’d taste it, and pour the rest out.
I love wine. That’s not the issue.
But your girl had work to do that afternoon. I needed my brain at full capacity, and I didn’t have the luxury of being sluggish.
So now I’m in the era where feeling alert, having energy, and sleeping well is more appealing than the buzz. More appealing than feeling bubbly and loose and fun for an hour. Even more appealing than the taste of a really, really delicious pinot noir.
Let me keep it real... that would not have been me six years ago.
Some of that is priorities. Some of it is biology.
Why does alcohol hit harder in perimenopause and menopause?
As we get older, we carry less muscle and less water. Alcohol spreads through the water in your body, so with less water to dilute it, the same glass brings a higher blood alcohol level. It hits harder and hangs around longer.
It might help you fall asleep, then break up the second half of your night. Sleep research shows this pattern over and over. Alcohol makes you drowsy early, then your sleep gets lighter and more broken as your body finishes processing it.
For some women, it sets off hot flashes and night sweats too. Not every woman, and not every drink. But if your red wine nights end with you kicking off the covers at 2 a.m., that’s worth paying attention to.
Why the holidays make the decision harder
Then the holidays show up. Halloween, Thanksgiving, the office party, your neighbor’s open house, and a tequila shot you’d never say no to around every corner.
For a lot of us, the decision about what we’re drinking gets made at the party, with the glass already in hand.
“But it’s the holidays.”
“I’ll get back on track in January.”
Sound familiar? Then this is for you.
The Grown Woman Standard for alcohol in midlife
Every week in my newsletter, The Grown Woman Standard, I teach one standard for how a grown woman thinks about her body, her health and the way she lives. This one is for every woman with a holiday calendar filling up:
A Grown Woman knows what the glass will cost her. Then she decides if it’s worth it.
Do you have to quit drinking in menopause?
No. I’m not telling you what to drink, or whether to drink at all. That’s your call, and it should be.
“But Jennifer, it’s the holidays! I am not trying to be the only one at the party holding a club soda.”
You don’t have to be.
Remember, I still went to the wine tasting, the same one I’ve gone to six years running. I laughed with my girls, tasted the wine, and had a great time.
What changed is the order of operations.
I knew what that afternoon needed from me before I walked in. So the decision was easy.
What all-or-nothing thinking sounds like at a holiday party
What I hear when you say “but Jennifer, it’s the holidays” is the all-or-nothing brain. She only has two settings. On plan, or off until January.
In my coaching, I talk about Version 1.0 and Version 2.0. Version 1.0 is the woman whose old thoughts and habits keep producing the same patterns. Version 2.0 is the woman who takes care of herself because that’s simply how she lives.
Version 1.0 waits to see what the night brings, then spends January cleaning it up. Version 2.0 decides on Tuesday what Saturday looks like, enjoys exactly what she chose, and wakes up Sunday feeling like herself.
Deciding ahead doesn’t have to mean no. It can mean choosing the type of drink, what you eat and drink alongside it, and when you have it, so the glass you pick is one you actually want.
When it’s time for support
If your body has changed and you’re tired of guessing what it needs now, this is where private coaching comes in.
Picture walking into the office party already knowing your plan. Your labs are done and reviewed by a medical practitioner. You have a coach every week who knows your history, your symptoms, and yes, what’s in your glass. When the scale does something weird on a Tuesday, you have someone to text instead of a rabbit hole to fall down.
That’s what my ForeverWell clients have.
On a consultation call, we’ll look at what you’ve tried, what’s changed, and whether working with me or one of my ForeverWell coaches is the right fit.
I still went to the wine tasting. I just decided what the afternoon needed from me before I walked in. That’s the whole standard.
Jennifer Dent Brown is the founder of Luxe Life Coaching and the creator of Stop. Dieting. Forever.™ She helps women in midlife stop dieting and start losing weight by connecting the dots between hormones, metabolism, labs, and identity. She hosts the Stop. Dieting. Forever.™ podcast and writes The Grown Woman Standard, a weekly letter for midlife women. Get it in your inbox here.
This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult with your healthcare provider before starting any new supplement, health program, or lifestyle change.
A Grown Woman knows what the glass will cost her. Then she decides if it’s worth it.
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