You're Not Eating Enough (And That's Why You Can't Lose Weight After 40)

I used to think eating less was the answer.

1,200 calories. Track everything. Skip meals if I needed to stay within the budget. Be disciplined. Be good.

And for a while, when I was younger, it worked.

Then I hit perimenopause. And suddenly, everything I'd learned about weight loss in the 80s and 90s stopped working. Worse than that—it started working against me.

If you're eating 1,200 calories a day and the scale still won't move, or if you're falling asleep at your desk every afternoon and can't figure out why you're so exhausted all the time, I need you to consider something that might sound completely backwards.

You're not eating enough of the right foods.

And your body is screaming at you about it.

The Diet We Grew Up On Doesn't Work After 40

If you're Gen X like me, you grew up in the era of "less is better."

Slim Fast. Fat-free cheese. Fat-free yogurt. Fat-free everything. The 1,200-calorie meal plan was the gold standard. The message was clear: if you wanted to lose weight, you had to eat less.

That got seared into our brains. And for decades, that's what we did.

But here's what nobody told us. After 40, restriction doesn't just stop working. It backfires.

Your metabolism slows down. Your body starts breaking down muscle tissue because muscle is metabolically expensive and your body thinks you're in a famine. Your thyroid downregulates. And you end up more tired, more obsessed with food, and no lighter than when you started.

I did some research because I wanted to know if it was just me and my clients or if this was actually a widespread issue.

Turns out, 73% of midlife women report dissatisfaction with their weight. And that dissatisfaction drives us straight to ultra-low-calorie diets because that's what we know. That's what we were taught.

About 13% of women over 50 are now experiencing symptoms of disordered eating. Rigid calorie counting. Skipping meals after a "bad" day. Compensatory behaviors that we don't even recognize as disordered because we've been doing them for so long.

And get this: 56% of American women try to lose weight every year, and the most common method is eating less food.

We've been conditioned to believe that restriction is the answer.

But eating more than 1,200 calories and losing weight isn't just possible. It's often better for your hormones and your muscle mass.

What Happens When You Chronically Under-Eat After 40

When you're eating 1,200 calories a day in your 40s or 50s, especially during perimenopause, your body doesn't think, "Great, let's burn fat."

Your body thinks, "We're in a famine. Shut everything down. Conserve energy."

Your metabolism slows. Your thyroid downregulates. Your body starts cashing in on your muscle tissue because it's metabolically expensive and survival is the priority right now.

And here's the part nobody talks about: it's not just about how much you're eating. It's about what you're eating and how those foods affect your energy, your hormones, and your body's ability to function.

The food you're eating isn't giving you energy. It's sedating you.

When Your Body Gives You Feedback (And You're Too Busy Counting Calories to Listen)

I was coaching a client recently. She's a psychiatrist. Incredibly smart. Incredibly busy. Multiple jobs, agency audits, back-to-back Zoom meetings after work.

She was exhausted. Falling asleep on the couch every night. Couldn't make it upstairs to her actual bed.

She thought the problem was discipline.

But when we started paying attention to what she was eating, the pattern became clear.

One Tuesday, she had to go into the office for a catered lunch. Normally, that meant fried chicken and French fries. The kind of food that knocks you out for the entire afternoon.

But this time, the rep brought Greek chicken kebabs with rice and lettuce.

She made herself a plate. Two chicken kebabs for protein. A little rice. Lots of lettuce.

And she told me something I'll never forget: "I was full, but I wasn't sedated. I wasn't in a sugar coma."

For the first time in weeks, she had energy all afternoon. She could think clearly. She could stay present in her meetings.

Then a few days later, she was working from home. Her husband made whole wheat spaghetti with turkey meatballs and tomato sauce for dinner. Sounds healthy, right? Low fat. Whole wheat. Lean protein.

She ate it, then logged into an evening Zoom meeting.

The second that meeting ended, she was out cold on the couch. She told me, "I don't even remember falling asleep. I just went."

She woke up hours later. The TV was still on. The computer was still on. She was still in her work clothes.

When we talked about it, I asked her, "What did you eat for dinner?"

Spaghetti. Whole wheat pasta with turkey meatballs and tomato sauce.

Sugar and carbs after a long, stressful day. Her insulin spiked, and her body just shut down.

Same woman. Different food. Completely different result.

That's your body giving you feedback.

Why Bio-Individuality Matters More Than Calorie Counting

I don't teach my clients to count calories. Ever.

Because there's no calorie calculator that can replace learning how to listen to your body and give it what it needs.

What I teach instead is bio-individuality. Creating an energy eating plan based on how your body responds to food.

If you can't stay awake during your afternoon meeting, ask yourself: what did I eat at lunch?

If you're crashing on the couch at 8 PM and can't even make it upstairs to bed, ask yourself: what did I eat for dinner?

Your body is constantly telling you what works and what doesn't. We've just been too busy counting calories to listen.

Here's how I do it with my clients. We create three columns:

Energy Foods. These are foods that give you sustained energy. Not the "diet" foods you've been taught to eat. Your foods. The ones that make you feel good, keep your blood sugar stable, and give you consistent energy throughout the day.

Fun Foods. These are foods you enjoy but might not give you sustained energy. They're not "bad" foods. They're just not your everyday fuel.

No Foods. These aren't "forbidden" foods. These are foods that don't serve you. Foods that make you crash, make you feel sluggish, mess with your digestion, or trigger you to overeat.

And here's what's critical: you decide what goes in each column based on how your body responds.

Not what a diet told you. Not what worked for your friend. What works for you.

Your Energy Eating Plan Isn't Static

I used to have quinoa, sourdough bread, black rice, oats, and French fries on my energy foods list.

These were foods my body loved. They gave me sustained energy. They worked.

Until they didn't.

When perimenopause hit, everything changed. Insulin resistance kicked in. Inflammation increased because of the hormonal changes. And suddenly, those same foods that used to fuel me were now making me crash.

So I had to adapt.

I moved quinoa, sourdough, black rice, and oats to my Fun Foods list. Not because they're "bad," but because they weren't serving my body the same way anymore.

Instead, I added slower-digesting carbs to my Energy Foods: black beans, kidney beans, lentils, and sweet potatoes. Foods that helped reduce insulin spikes and keep my blood sugar stable.

I paired that with strength training, and over time, my insulin sensitivity increased and inflammation lowered.

Your energy eating plan isn't static. It evolves with you.

What worked in your 30s might not work in your 40s. What works now might need to shift in six months.

And that's okay.

The framework stays the same. You just adjust based on what your body is telling you.

You're Not Giving Away Your Power to a Number Anymore

If you're falling asleep at your desk, if you can't make it through an afternoon meeting without nodding off, if you're too exhausted to even walk upstairs at night, your body is screaming at you that it needs more fuel.

And when you give it the right fuel—not just more calories, but the right kind of food for your body—everything changes.

Your energy comes back. Your metabolism wakes up. Your body starts working with you instead of against you.

Yes, you might see a slight uptick on the scale initially as your body restores glycogen and rehydrates. That's not fat. That's your body healing.

But more importantly, you'll feel different.

You'll have energy in the afternoon. You'll sleep better at night. You'll be able to think clearly and show up fully for your life.

Isn't that worth more than an arbitrary calorie number?

You've got to stop giving a number on the scale and a calorie tracker all your power. You're the one in control here.

The goal isn't to eat 1,200 calories forever. We already know that doesn't work. You tried that in the 90s.

The goal is to become a woman who knows exactly what her body needs and gives it to herself without the mind drama, without the food obsession, without beating yourself up or depending on willpower.

This isn't about perfection. It's about paying attention to what your body is telling you.

And when you become a master at that, you'll lose weight and become the person who keeps it off.

You're not behind. Nothing is broken. Your body is just asking you to listen.

Ready to become unrecognizable in the next 6 months? Book a free consultation call to see if ForeverWell private weight loss coaching is right for you: https://jenniferdent.com/consult

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